Sleepless Nights


I’ve been tossing and turning this morning since 3am. Rapid thoughts flickering through my brain, ignoring my plead to stop.  Of course it didn’t listen. And the tossing continued. I finally stopped trying to fight it and got dressed to go to one of my favorite coffee shops at home. After I sat for a bit and had a few sips of hot coffee, the reason why I was so restless hit me. The expectations for my life are too high. Now before you say of course expectations for your life should be high, we’re supposed to strive for greatness or something of that accord. Let me explain.

I mean high expectations for my life compared to someone else’s life. When you have a high expectation for an event or moment and it’s not as great as you thought it should be, you start to feel a little sad don’t you? Because all that time you were hyping yourself up, getting ready for what was supposed to be this great day and then it’s not. Imagine going through life like that. I guess that’s me. I realized that I’ve constantly been comparing myself to what others are doing with there lives, and then find myself in an almost depressive like state when my life doesn’t lead down the same road. Well this morning it finally clicked,  “OF COURSE it doesn’t lead the same road, you’re a completely different human being! An INDIVIDUAL, and God created you to be just that.” I don’t know why it’s taken me this long to realize this, but it has. And now that I’ve realized it I can start taking steps to move forward with God’s plan for MY life. No longer will I be obsessed with what other people think of me or how other people are living their lives, I’ll love me for me, I’ll have high expectations for MY life now. And I’ll be happy when I meet them.


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